She doesn’t know that this aspect to him exists. Obviously Edward doesn’t act like an immature teenager, but sometimes his thoughts begin that way! When reading Bella’s perspective, it doesn’t seem like this flaw exists, but that’s because Edward is able to process his thoughts so much faster as a vampire. It is subtle, because a large part of his maturity is just who Edward is, but you capture his flawed teenage personality in his thoughts. You perfectly capture Edward’s teenager nature warring with the wise immortal side to him. The flaws she gives to him are flaws a vampire would have, but she misses the mark slightly.
Meyer writes him as an almost omniscient, perfect creature. He had maturity and gained wisdom, but he is forever stuck at age 17. Yes, he was a mature teenager for his age (as he had a serious, focused soldier mindset), but he was still only 17. That much is evident in how he thinks and speaks. Well done! However, having said that, I also think that you capture a whole aspect to Edward that I believe is lacking in Meyer’s chapters!!! Yes, Edward, is around 107 (give or take, depending on what book it is) so he has that wisdom that comes with that age and being an immortal vampire. If you added your half to Meyer’s half and made it a complete book, I think no one would recognize that it was written by two authors. Hi there! I have read, and reread, and reread again, your stories because they are so good! I want to specifically comment on the way you write Edward.
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